id be glad to
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
they're like a gay fantastic four
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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