I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
