make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
