So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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