I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
