it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
