I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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