maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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