3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
