i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
