Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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