Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You're so nebulous sometimes
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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