if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
