after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Did I show you my penis last night?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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