She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
