Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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