If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
