And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
