he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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