We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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