my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
