Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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