Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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