This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
