you traded sex for a burrito?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
