i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
