So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
