I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
