party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
