So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
