but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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