that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
did i walk over a car last night?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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