So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
