Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
