So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
