not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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