She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
