i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i love accidental penises.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
