I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
