pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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