I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
