You work out of a Hotel?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
