How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
