My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
