We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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