I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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