I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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