This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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