i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This baby is an asshole
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
false alarm, still single
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