you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
