Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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