I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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